The Irrelevant Blamee
This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some of it may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.
Hello. I've been a lifetime blamee. Friends, family, co-workers and customers have always come to me with their complaints. They have tended to blame me for their issues.
Originally I took all their criticisms to heart. They made me feel worthless. It didn't matter whether I was to blame or not. I didn't distinguish when a complaint came. It was all my fault. Even if it it was world famine. I was the root cause. If I wasn't around, the problem wouldn't exist.
Now I take a different view. When listening to these complaints, I ask myself if there was something I could've done to resolve the issue. If the answer is no, I still let the complainer rant. However, I don't take it personally anymore.
Why do I let the complainer rant? Because I realize they need to get whatever they're thinking about out of their system. If they don't rant at me, they'll find someone else to victimize. Since I'm able to handle it now (I'm very experienced), I don't mind. The blamee is really irrelevant to the blamer.
When the complainer is done, I ask them what they can do to resolve the issue. They are usually stumped, because they haven't thought about it.
If it's one thing I've learned after golfing 36 years, it's the player is the one who deserves the most blame. If you are a blamer, look in the mirror for the answer to your problem. And if you're a blamee, consider how flattering it is to be picked by this person, even if you are irrelevant to their situation. If you can think that way, being a blamee can make your day!
Regards,
Irrelevant
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.
Hello. I've been a lifetime blamee. Friends, family, co-workers and customers have always come to me with their complaints. They have tended to blame me for their issues.
Originally I took all their criticisms to heart. They made me feel worthless. It didn't matter whether I was to blame or not. I didn't distinguish when a complaint came. It was all my fault. Even if it it was world famine. I was the root cause. If I wasn't around, the problem wouldn't exist.
Now I take a different view. When listening to these complaints, I ask myself if there was something I could've done to resolve the issue. If the answer is no, I still let the complainer rant. However, I don't take it personally anymore.
Why do I let the complainer rant? Because I realize they need to get whatever they're thinking about out of their system. If they don't rant at me, they'll find someone else to victimize. Since I'm able to handle it now (I'm very experienced), I don't mind. The blamee is really irrelevant to the blamer.
When the complainer is done, I ask them what they can do to resolve the issue. They are usually stumped, because they haven't thought about it.
If it's one thing I've learned after golfing 36 years, it's the player is the one who deserves the most blame. If you are a blamer, look in the mirror for the answer to your problem. And if you're a blamee, consider how flattering it is to be picked by this person, even if you are irrelevant to their situation. If you can think that way, being a blamee can make your day!
Regards,
Irrelevant
posted by Irrelevant at 1:34 PM
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