The Irrelevant "Excuse Me"

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. The other day my spouse and I were in the kitchen. It's a rare occurrence.
My spouse wanted to get to a cupboard I was blocking. The words "excuse me" were uttered.
I was puzzled. Why would my spouse say "excuse me"? This sentence was irrelevant.
Because I'm irrelevant, I'm doing irrelevant things. My spouse is relevant, and therefore doing relevant things. If an irrelevant person is holding up a relevant person, "excuse me" is not appropriate, because it makes the irrelevant person seem relevant.
A better phrase would have been "move it clown face". Or just a simple shove. Anything that keeps the relevant-irrelevant relationship intact. Otherwise, the floodgates are being opened. And pretty soon I would think. And that would be very irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant