The Irrelevant Consideration II

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. So, what should I do? Tell people that if I were them, I'd wait until 2pm? Cut my work off early, and upset my boss and co-workers? Not go?
There's no point in the first option. An irrelevant person cannot tell a relevant person to listen, since the relevant person's not listening to the irrelevant person. If anyone knows how an irrelevant person can tell a relevant person who's not listening they're not listening, I'll listen.
The 2nd option is a no-go as well. Not only would I get the justified abuse of my peers and superiors, but I'd also be criticized for not earning as much money as I usually do.
I'm tempted to do the 3rd option. At least I'd find out if everyone at the gathering thought I was irrelevant. And knowing how irrelevant you are is relevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant