The Irrelevant "Blank" Page Line

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. I received a prospectus in the mail the other day. The final page of the booklet had a line in the middle saying "This page is intentionally left blank".
I believe this line is irrelevant.
Why? Because if it wasn't there, I would be able to determine the page is blank. The same thing could've been accomplished with an "End of Prospectus" line at the bottom of the previous page.
Also, by putting the "This page is intentionally left blank" on the last page, the page is no longer blank! Telling me a page is blank when it's not blank is irrelevant.
So what to do? Keep it blank? Keep the writing? Maybe there's a legal reason for the writing. If so, please let me know.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Fedex Cup

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Hello. We're in the middle of the PGA Tour's Fedex Cup playoffs! Stop the presses!
Now I can go back to yawning.
How irrelevant is the Fedex Cup? You don't have to play all the playoff rounds to win it (see Tiger Woods in 2007).
How irrelevant is the Fedex Cup? The PGA Tour Player of the Year will probably be either Padraig Harrington or Tiger Woods. That's based on major victories (2 and 1 respectively). In fact you have to go back a fair bit to find a winner who had not won a major. If Woods is Player of the Year in 2008 without even playing in the Fedex Cup, how relevant is it?
How irrelevant is the Fedex Cup? The playoffs only eliminate a handful of players, even thought only a handful can win it!
In short, the Fedex Cup is irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Medal Count

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Hello. How many Olympic medals did Team Canada win in Beijing?
FYI it was 18.
Does it matter? Or is it irrelevant?
I think for the most part it's irrelevant. What I would look at is top 16 performances. If we are competitive in a sport, a top 16 performance should be realistic. And that's what I saw missing from a lot of Olympic sports this year.
Some would argue the Olympic experience on its own is enough of a goal to strive for, and the athlete should be able to go no matter what, as long as they meet the minimum Olympic standard. I say poppycock.
Let's make top 16 the new relevant standard.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Arm's Length Tickets

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Hello. Today I was at a golf tournament. One of the things people could spend money on was an arm's length of tickets for golf getaways.
I think giving out an arm's length of tickets is irrelevant.
Why? Because you could just give out 1 or 3 tickets for $20, and be done with it. Why drag it out with more tickets? What good does it do?
I guess people think they're getting a deal. Maybe taller people are getting an extra couple of tickets, 22 instead of 20 say.
Big deal.
Why no just give them 3 and be done? The rest are irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Playoff Race II

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Hello. Here's what my children thought was relevant at the Toronto Blue Jays game:

1. The CN Tower view
2. Being close to the field
3. Buying a Jays jersey
4. Being near foul balls

Everything else was irrelevant.

Regards,

Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Playoff Race

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Hello. Tonight our family is going to watch the Toronto Blue Jays play the New York Yankees.
I used to follow the Jays religiously until the '95 strike. Then I lost interest in baseball in general. The Jays unfortunately collapsed then after two World Series titles, and have not been to the playoffs since.
I hear they're still in the playoff race, and the Yankees aren't. Amazing, but irrelevant.
Why? Because tonight will be the first Major League Baseball game my children have ever seen live. They both play softball, so they understand the rules. I think they're genuinely interested.
The opportunity to have them see baseball at its highest level may have a huge impact on them. And it's irrelevant where the teams are from, or how they're doing. In one game anything can happen.
I hope the kids enjoy it. That's what's relevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Olympic Team Funding III

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Hello. Well, Canada is up to 13 medals now, which eclipses Athens. Well done everyone.
However, it still doesn't change the fact many athletes were there who shouldn't have been. When I say they're irrelevant, I mean as Olympic athletes, not as human beings.
Because they're irrelevant, I don't believe they should be funded. Especially if funding's an issue, as it always seems to be.
Does Canada need to send a boxer who loses 20-1? Or pistol shooters who finish way out of it? I don't think so.
And while dreaming to be an Olympic athlete is a relevant goal, there should be signs of being able to be competitive before funding is coming their way.
Funding should be a priviledge, not a right.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Olympic Team Funding II

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Hello. As I write this, Canada has 9 medals, up from the zero medals at my last post. Here's how they break down:

1. Rowing - 4
2. Ladies Wrestling - 2
3. Show Jumping - 1
4. Swimming - 1
5. Trampoline - 1
6. Everything else - 0

Is it relevant that "everyone else" went? Is participation enough? More tomorrow.

Regards,

Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Olympic Team Funding

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Hello. Well, Canada has now completed 6 days without any Olympic medals. And we've already heard the cries for more funding. "If only we had more money", the athletes and organizers are saying. It's a familiar cry that gets loudest in an Olympic year.
Well, I'm sorry to say funding is irrelevant.
Why? Because we obviously must have lots of money to send 331 athletes to Beijing, up from the 265 sent to Athens. That should in theory result in a 24.9% medal increase. Since we have zero, I'd say it hasn't happened yet.
The answer is to bring in administrators who know what they're doing, like Alex Baumann was supposed to be for swimming. The jury's out on whether they're better since the medal counts for Beijing and Athens are the same.
Throwing good money after bad is irrelevant. Fix the system.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Olympic Team II

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Hello. Well, after 5 days of competition, Canada still is without an Olympic medal. We're now tied for 51st, as a few other countries have gotten their first.
Some people who were supposed to achieve failed badly. Brent Hayden looked like he was sinking in the 100 metre freestyle semi, finishing 11th after finishing 3rd in the preliminary. Our syncro divers looked like they'd medal, then finished 5th.
Is Team Canada irrelevant? In some ways, no, because we're giving other countries confidence. They can defeat Canadians and get more positive about their chances.
However, as far as results go, Team Canada is irrelevant.
I know they're going to win as many as 10 in Beijing. However, for a team of 300+ to go 5 days without a medal makes it irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Olympic Team

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Hello. What has 300+ people and no medals after 4 days of Olympic competition (and is now tied for 47th, or last, place)? Team Canada!!
We are 3 medals behind Azerbaijan, which I'm not ashamed to say I didn't know was competing (or existed). We're one medal behind Togo.
Are we going to win more medals than those countries? I hope so! I think we may end with 10. But right now you could make a case our team is irrelevant.
No wonder Toronto didn't get these games. What an embarrassment that would be, to have the host country medalless at this point!
What gets me as well is how Canada has remained medalless. More tomorrow.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Dog Action

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Hello. Yesterday our family came back home after several hours.
The first thing I usually do is let our dog outside for a relief break. Once the dog's back in, I unload the van.
After I'd let the dog in, my spouse came and let the dog out again. I told my spouse the dog had just been out. The reply back was my spouse wanted to ensure the dog had pooped, as it had done that inside recently.
My dog action had become irrelevant.
Why? Because my spouse did not have visual proof the dog had been outside and pooped. It didn't matter if I'd let the dog out or not.
Will I be letting the dog out after the next long trip? It's irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Invitation

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Hello. Yesterday I got an invitation to golf at one of the most exclusive clubs in Canada on this coming Sunday and Monday. All expenses paid!
Unfortunately it looks like the invitation is irrelevant.
Why? Because I have to find someone to do my part-time job Sunday, and look after my kids Monday. Both are proving to be exceedingly difficult in these vacation filled days.
Do I appreciate the invitation? Of course! It's the only way I'd ever get to play this course. But my duties make the invite irrelevant.
Do I wish I didn't have these duties to perform? For those two days, yes. But I wouldn't trade my lifestyle for anything. I truly live like royalty.
Keep those irrelevant invitations coming!

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Presidential Nominee II

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Hello. Last week's People magazine cover had the Obama family on it. I didn't read the story inside, because it was irrelevant.
Why? Because there will be no People cover of the other presidential candidate (Republican John McCain, in case you're wondering).
I did a Google on both nominees. McCain came back with 37,600,000. Very impressive. But it pales to Barack Obama's 62,600,000.
Is McCain irrelevant? I believe so. The only story I've really heard about him is he may have cancer. There also seem to be questions about his age (72). Even his military record is being questioned, because he was a POW.
On the other hand, Obama is a celebrity, and can make history with a win. Very relevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Oncoming Traffic Light

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Hello. My apologies for not writing yesterday. It was an Ontario holiday.
There is a road in my town where the 4 lanes are together, separated only by the double yellow line. As you're going southbound, the road becomes separated by a concrete median. For some reason, at this point there is a flashing light indicating there is oncoming traffic in the other lanes coming towards you.
I consider this light to be irrelevant. Why? Because there was oncoming traffic long before this point. And there was no median to protect us. Why then have this light right where we are separated from the oncoming traffic by a median? Why not have it before this point? Why have the light at all?
Have people driven into the oncoming traffic? No, with or without the irrelevant light.

Regards,
Irrelevant