The Irrelevant Consideration II

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. So, what should I do? Tell people that if I were them, I'd wait until 2pm? Cut my work off early, and upset my boss and co-workers? Not go?
There's no point in the first option. An irrelevant person cannot tell a relevant person to listen, since the relevant person's not listening to the irrelevant person. If anyone knows how an irrelevant person can tell a relevant person who's not listening they're not listening, I'll listen.
The 2nd option is a no-go as well. Not only would I get the justified abuse of my peers and superiors, but I'd also be criticized for not earning as much money as I usually do.
I'm tempted to do the 3rd option. At least I'd find out if everyone at the gathering thought I was irrelevant. And knowing how irrelevant you are is relevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Consideration

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. On Saturday our family is scheduled to go to my cousin's house for the afternoon. We're supposed to be there at 1:30pm. That means leaving our house at about 1pm.
I work Saturday mornings. My shift doesn't end until 1pm. While I don't live far from where I work, I cannot be home in time for our departure.
The plans were made with the knowledge I had to work until 1pm.
I've been told to come by myself later.
Why? Because I'm irrelevant.
If I were the one making plans, I would've bumped the arrival time back to 2pm.
If I were relevant, the person arranging things probably would've done the same.
More tomorrow.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Gate II

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If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. What to do about our baby gate? Should we make it so our dog can't get it open? Or leave it as irrelevant?
The gate does slow the dog down a bit. Usually when I hear it I can get there before it's opened. Or I can yell to get her attention.
The gate used to be child-proof. It was also adult-proof. When it was broken, we didn't mind that much. Of course it broke before the dog could open it.
Should we fix it? I'm thinking it's better to try to retrain her.
Does that mean we're content with an irrelevant gate? I think so.
Does it show we're lazy? Yes it does! But if we're happy with an irrelevant gate, maybe our laziness is irrelevant too, right? Please let me know.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Gate

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. We have a very intelligent dog. She can really get her point across. And she seems to know what's going on. She's definitely more intelligent than me.
We got her from a kennel at 3 years old. We thought she'd be trained. Wrong! It took a while to make her realize 'outside' was her toilet.
Unfortunately, she likes to chew many things, especially stuffed animals, and crawl under our fence, which for her size and our attempted fence patching is rather difficult.
We left the baby gate on the top floor attached in the hallway so our dog would be blocked from raiding the stuffed animals. However, she's now found out how to open it! The gate has become irrelevant.
What to do? More tomorrow.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant At-Bat Result II

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If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. My 6 year old son is also dealing with a baseball change. Last year he was in T-ball. Obviously it was relatively easy to hit the ball.
Now he has to hit his coach's pitching. He gets 4 swings. And we've told him he has to swing at everything, no matter where it is.
My spouse took him to baseball last night (I was with my daughter). I was informed he had strikeouts and two hits. The good news is he ended up scoring both times he got on base.
My son was a little upset he struck out twice. He also wasn't happy the team only tied. I told him both things were irrelevant. The main thing is he's learning about hitting pitching, and developing his other skills.
On this type of journey, the individual at-bat results are irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant At-Bat Result

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
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Hello. This year is the first for my nine-year-old daughter facing opposing pitching. Since some of the girls in her league are 12 years old, and young women, they can be very good.
Last year the coaches were pitching to my daughter. She had 5 pitches to hit. She was taught to swing at anything.
This year there's a strike zone. And unfortunately my daughter is still adjusting to not swinging at balls over her head.
After one at-bat, where she struck out, she thought she was a failure. I told her the result was irrelevant.
Why? Because she's still adjusting. She took a couple of balls, which was excellent. And later in the game she did get a hit!
When helping a child, focus on the process, instead of the irrelevant result.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant 18 Hole Playoff II

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Hello. Well, the 18 hole playoff between Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate was close. And guess what? It went to sudden death. In other words, it was irrelevant!
The announcers were marvelling how there were about 25,000 fans at the event Monday, and how impressive that was. You know what, it was half the Sunday audience. Half! And that was supposed to be impressive?
The TV audience I'm sure was smaller too, although I have no idea how small. Again, you had plenty of time Sunday to do a 4-hole playoff. Why not do it?
The topic of changing the 18 hole playoff will probably not come up because this one was close. But what if Tiger had held or increased his 3 shot lead after 10 holes? Then it would've been like watching a root canal.
Get rid of the irrelevant 18 hole playoff, and let this one be the last.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant 18 Hole Playoff

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If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Today Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate will play 18 holes (at least) to decide who wins the US Open.
My question is, why? An 18 hole playoff is irrelevant.
Every other professional golf tournament (including the US Women's Open, run by the same USGA) has either a sudden death, 3 or 4 hole playoff. Why can't the US Open be the same?
While I haven't heard any discussion on the topic intentionally, I think there will be an uproar. If the defenders of the 18 hole playoff cannot come up with any other reason than "it's tradition", then it's time for a change. Why lose all your primetime audience and most of your 50,000+ course attendees for a tradition when every other event has a perfectly acceptable way of determining a winner that day (weather permitting)?
The 18 hole golf playoff is as irrelevant as the BCS title.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Pre Game Show

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Hello. The Golf Channel has wall-to-wall US Open coverage this week. Many experts, many features, lots of interviews.
It's all irrelevant.
Why? Because it's the US Open. We don't need a report saying the rough's long. Or the greens are fast. Guess what? They've been like that as long as I can remember.
The interviews, especially with the lesser-knowns, can be interesting. But by Saturday most of these guys will be forgotten anyway, because they'll be going home.
And the expert opinions? Try to find one who won't have Tiger as his #1 or #2 pick. I didn't think you could.
So why have an irrelevant show? The relevant reason - money.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Identity

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Hello. Today I golfed with a member I've known for 1.5 years at the golf course I marshal at. Because I was out of uniform (and this member isn't as young as others), he did not recognize me. He thought I was a member too. He also thought we'd played together before (we hadn't).
Did I care he didn't know me? Did I try to correct him? No and no.
Why? Because my identity is irrelevant.
I do not play with members often, because I don't want to lose my objectivity. I also don't want another member to think I'm giving someone special treatment because I've golfed with them.
As a result, it was okay to let this member think I was another member.
Will I tell him the next time I'm working that we golfed together today? Probably not. It is after all irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Wet Outfield

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Hello. Last night my son was supposed to play softball. Afternoon thunderstorms were very hard. While it did clear an hour before game time, my spouse and I thought it may still be called off.
Sure enough, the coach phoned to say the game was cancelled. Apparently the diamond was destroyed by the rain. I said to my spouse the outfield was probably wet as well. The reply back was the wet outfield was irrelevant.
Why? Because my son is 6 years old. He and his teammates are incapable of hitting it over the large dirt infield. I can count on one hand how many balls go into the outfield in a season. If they do, they're rolling.
No need to worry about irrelevant outfield conditions.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Critique

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Hello. Yesterday I saw my daughter perform at Center Stage School of the Arts' "Night at the Oscars" season finale recital. It was very professionally done.
My mom got to see it in the afternoon. We alternated looking after my son, so I saw it in the evening.
When we got home my mom asked what I thought of it. I didn't answer because I had a million other things to do and the question was irrelevant.
Why? Because as a proud parent, I'm obviously biased. I'm not going to give my daughter a harsh critique no matter how she did. My critique therefore is irrelevant because it will always be the same answer.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant 5th Drink

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Hello. One non-animated show I watch a fair bit is X-Weighted. A contestant gets advice on how to lose weight. 6 months later, they weigh in for the final result.
One contestant was a lady about to celebrate her 30th birthday. During the mid-point weigh in, Paul Plakas, the fitness expert, found out she was a binge drinker. He asked her how many drinks she was going to have at her birthday party. She said 10. Paul asked if she could cut it down to 4. She reluctantly agreed, then had 14 (!) at the party.
I used to drink, but never in those quantities. And now that I've abstained for 16 years, I have to wonder if the 5th drink was relevant. Certainly a drink an hour for 4 hours would make you feel relevant to your peers. Who are you trying to impress having more?
Drinking excessively should not be needed to feel relevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Character Traits

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
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Hello. I was talking to a friend today. We were discussing a mutual acquaintance who has always been unattached. I said I could've ended up like that person if I hadn't been introduced to my spouse. My dating efforts were brutal.
My friend found that hard to believe, saying I was able to socialize with people. The conclusion was I had some character traits. I said if I did they were irrelevant.
Why? Because I'm irrelevant. As a result, all I have to do is focus on a relevant person's character traits. They obviously find it more interesting to talk about their traits than listen to mine (if I have any). The feeling's mutual.
This focus makes it easy to socialize. People want to talk to someone who thinks they're relevant. Therefore, my character traits are irrelevant, because they're ignored.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant "Final Brushing"

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Hello. Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist for my regular cleaning. I was just up brushing after dinner. The thought occurred to me - I should do a very thorough "final brushing" before going to the dentist so I can show them how good my cleaning has been. Then I realized the final brushing is irrelevant.
Why? Because no matter how well you brush, the hygenist will find something. A great final brushing is like cleaning the house before Molly Maid comes. Or rearranging the Titanic deck chairs. Irrelevant!
Now that doesn't mean you should never brush your teeth, or not make a good effort to get them clean every time. It just means the hygenist's job is to clean them more thoroughly than you could ever do. Because of this, any "final brushing" is irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Cart Netting

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelvancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. In my job as a golf marshal, I drive around the course on a golf cart. My boss told me there should be a form of mesh, or netting, around the back of my cart for safety. Otherwise, there could be suits.
My reply is the netting is irrelevant.
Why? Because when I'm driving around, I'm going backwards, from green to tee. Players are hitting the ball towards me. If there is anywhere netting would help me, it's in front of me.
Even then, the netting would be irrelevant, because I have a windshield.
I guess the sides would be a good place to have netting. In theory I could be like the driving range carts, and be completely surrounded by it. But after having no incidents in 1.5 years, I'd say it's irrelevant. It's more important to have golf knowledge.

Regards,
Irrelevant