The Irrelevant NHL Trade Deadline

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. On Tuesday at 3pm the NHL Trade Deadline took effect. There were some trades that raised eyebrows (Huet leaves Montreal?), but for the most part they were irrelevant.
Why? Because as Bob McCown chronicled in his "100 Greatest Hockey Arguments" book, the eventual Stanley Cup champion usually does nothing at this time of year. In fact, after hearing the Mats Sundin trade discussions, Doug MacLean, former GM, said it was a bad time to trade players for draft choices, because the teams you would be getting the draft picks from were contenders. Their picks are near the bottom, when you want picks at the top.
All the deadline does is let players know where they're going to be for the rest of the season. That's somewhat relevant, but the deals themselves (unless you look at the Butch Goring 1980 trade to my beloved New York Islanders resulting in 4 Stanley Cups) are usually irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Federal Budget

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Yesterday the Conservatives released their federal budget. According to the Opposition parties, it was irrelevant. As a result, there will not be a federal election.
My question is, if I'm a minority government, do I always want to create an irrelevant budget? If I do have irrelevant budgets, then there in theory will never be a federal election. That means I stay in power for as long as possible.
What does it mean for the country if we always have irrelevant budgets? It means the federal government itself will become irrelevant. Some would say it's already happened.
In fairness to the Conservatives, the tax-free savings account is relevant to me. In fact it's going to become my non-RRSP retirement vehicle.
If this budget in general is irrelevant, the Conservatives would be wise to continue producing them.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Tickets

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. FYI tonight I spent most of my time after curling giving out tickets to our fundraising event. We have a list of who will be coming. If you paid, you can come. If you didn't then you can't. If you show up and you're not on our list, you can go straight home.
Why then have tickets at all? Because of the list, the tickets are irrelevant.
I've been saying this to my spouse for 9 years. The people I give the tickets to say the same thing. They're irrelevant. I don't need them. Why did you give them to me?
The answer to that question is my spouse, who is relevant, says the tickets are relevant. That's why I give them out. But, since I'm irrelevant, and I'm giving out the tickets, doesn't that mean they're by default irrelevant? After all, if the tickets were relevant, wouldn't my spouse be handing them out instead? Is that a relevant question? Let me know.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Conference Call Participant

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. This morning I was on a Cystic Fibrosis golf tournament conference call. While it was nice to be on it, my attendance was irrelevant.
Why? Because I only have two tasks - get players, and get donations. Both I can do without any guidance. I can report directly to the conference call coordinator. The rest of the committee doesn't need to hear it directly from me. The coordinator can pass on the information.
What happens with teleconferences is people don't bother separating the relevant people from the irrelevant people when coming up with an attendance list. Since it's so easy to have someone dial in as opposed to coming to a physical location, there's no point deciding who has to be on the call, and who doesn't have to be. Irrelevant people are included when they would otherwise be left out.
If you're on a teleconference thinking you're relevant, it may not be the case.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Feeling

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Yesterday I was talking to someone I know a little bit about my "cystic fibrosis life" - the treatments, doctor's appointments, etc. I also went on to say CF was the best life-shortening disease anyone can have, and our kids were doing great. I ended by saying the only way I could be luckier was if I was the last person to have CF, so it could die out with me.
Surprisingly, this person listened to me! And afterwards, I had a strange feeling. It took me a while to identify it, but when I did the conclusion was obvious. This person thought I was relevant!
I then realized this feeling I got was irrelevant.
Why? Because there are so many other sources telling me I'm irrelevant. This person has to be misguided. One relevant queue cannot override all the irrelevant queues.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Salt

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. I didn't write Monday or Tuesday due to Ontario Family Day. My apologies.
Last Sunday we got freezing rain on top of all this snow. When we went to church, it was okay, but by the time we got out, it was bad.
Since my spouse and I had driven separately (our marriage is okay, thanks for asking), I went home first to get things prepared. I put salt on my spouse's side of the driveway, and on the stairs to our front door.
Why didn't I put salt on my side of the driveway? Because that salt would've been irrelevant.
Since I'm irrelevant, it doesn't matter if I get out of the driveway. Why waste salt when you don't have to? Just keep it for the relevant areas.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Denial III

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Hello. Roger Clemens continues to deny taking steriods or HGH. He may be telling the truth, even though for his story to be true, Andy Pettitte "misremembered" conversations, his wife took HGH without any consultation, and the syringes and gauze saved by Brian McNamee was tampered evidence.
Again, it doesn't matter what Clemens says. His denial is irrelevant.
Clemens could've taken the high road that Pettitte and Chuck Knoblauch did when they said they used these substances. Those two will probably not face any further scrutiny. Then again, if Clemens hadn't sued, yesterday may have been his last day to deal with it too. People would've looked upon this era in baseball as dirty, dismissed the whole thing, and moved on.
By making an irrelevant denial, Clemens gave the media and public something relevant to discuss.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Suggestions

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Hello. Right now my spouse and the other main organizer of our Cystic Fibrosis event are meeting to discuss the details. I stopped going to these meetings long ago, because of my irrelevancy.
What I decided to do this year is write down what I think the issues are. The main one I see is the evening takes too long. I put on a piece of paper where I thought the 3 problem areas were. I do have suggestions on how to shorten those intervals, but I didn't write them down.
Why? Because those suggestions are irrelevant. They come from me, and I'm irrelevant, so the suggestions have no chance.
So why write down the issues? Because they may or may not be relevant. This way the two main organizers can look at them and decide. They can even come up with their own suggestions if they want, without considering irrelevant ones. It's a win for everyone, because I haven't wasted anyone's time, inclluding my own.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Shovelling

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If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Many of you have probably shovelled as much as I have. I'm sure February 2008 has already beat February 2007 for total snowfall, and it's still coming.
When my spouse arrived home (after dark), I was asked why I hadn't shovelled in the daylight. I replied that I had already shovelled in the daylight. Obviously the daylight shovelling was irrelevant.
Why? Because there was no evidence that daylight shovelling had occurred. So when I shovelled again tonight, it looked like it was for the first time.
Should I have waited for tonight before shovelling? I could've done that, but then it would've been much tougher. I now face the same question - shovel later tonight, or wait until morning. No matter what answer I come up with, it'll be irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Page Playoff Game

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. It was great to see the Ontario Men's Curling Championships last week. And congrats to Team Glenn Howard for their 3-peat victory.
What I'm wondering is why they have a Page Playoff game? To me it's completely irrelevant because the loser isn't eliminated.
Ed Werenich summarized my feelings quite well when he said the Page 1-2 game only makes sense if there are two divisions, and the winners play each other because they haven't played before. In the case of the Ontario championships, the teams (Howard and Corner) had played before because it was a full round-robin.
Why do it then? Money is usually the main reason, but even then it was irrelevant in this bonspiel. The 1-2 game was on at the same time as the 3-4 game. Did more fans come out because there was an irrelevant game beside a relevant game? I don't think so.
Let's get rid of irrelevant curling games.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Games

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Last week I mentioned the NFL didn't have to hype the Super Bowl, because the Giants/Patriots matchup was such a good one. And since it was the #2 ranked TV program of all time (behind only the MASH final episode) many people agreed.
However, after hearing discussions about the Buffalo Bills' 5 year arrangement of having 8 games in Toronto, I've realized that everything about those games (date, opponent, etc) is irrelevant.
Why? Because the NFL does such a good job marketing their product (games) they don't need to worry that much about the actual game. The NFL gamblers couldn't care less about content, just the result.
Is this the way it should be? No, but it's better for the NFL is the game is irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Beauty Rest

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. FYI I got only a few hours sleep last night. My spouse's alarm clock went off twice before it should've. Also, twice books and other items fell off my spouse's night table. I finally asked if it was a joke or not.
By this time it was 6am. I looked outside and saw beaucoup snow. Over an hour later, it was finally cleared. Each snow shovel full felt like I was lifting a large child.
After taking a 2 hour drive on a route normally 45 minutes long, runing all over an arena, then driving back, I'm ready to conk. I'm in need of a beauty rest.
Then I got thinking. A beauty rest for me is irrelevant.
Why? Because I'm going to appear ugly no matter how long I sleep. Even a Rip Van Winkle power nap wouldn't help.
Might as well stay awake. A beauty rest is irrelevant for me.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Offer

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Last week the Buffalo Bills announced they'd be playing 8 games (3 preseason, 5 regular season) in Toronto. The Toronto Argos season ticket holders get first chance at 20,000, then the Buffalo Bills season ticket holders get 10,000 first chance tickets, then the rest go to whoever. The Hamilton Tigercats were supposed to get 5,000 tickets for their season ticket holders before the Buffalo Bills ticket holders, but opted out. The median ticket price for each game is apparently around $200.
This offer is irrelevant to the current season ticket holders of all the teams.
Why? Because these season ticket holders paid WAY less money than what these new tickets are worth. I'm sure Buffalo fans are not going to come to Toronto when the dollars are around each other to see a game. And I don't think Toronto fans will have Argo money after buying Bills tickets.

Regards,
Irrelevant

The Irrelevant Season

This blog is written mostly tongue in cheek. Some points may be informative. Please provide your feedback.
If you suffer from self-irrelevancy, please seek professional advice.

Hello. Congrats to the New York Giants for winning the Super Bowl 17-14 last night. A great game and a well-deserved victory.
So, what of the New England Patriots? They won 18 straight games, then lose one by 3 points. One of the greatest seasons of all time. Yet it's now irrelevant.
Why? If New England would've won last night, they would've arguably been the greatest team ever. Now, they're not even in anyone's top 30. They rank up there with the St Louis Rams' "Greatest Show on Turf" team that lost to New England 7 years ago. You have to rank almost every Super Bowl winner ahead of them now.
If I lived in the main Patriots fan base area, I'd be in shock right now. What do you do with your parade route spot? That too is now irrelevant.

Regards,
Irrelevant